Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Domestic Violence

Today’s video on domestic violence really hit home for me.  One of my really good friends spent 4 years in an abusive relationship.  I was the one she always came to for help and to talk to, and it was extremely hard for me to deal with.  They were high school sweethearts, and after we graduated they moved in together.  He had always been verbally abusive to her, but once they moved in together it escaladed into physical abuse as well.  After a year of living together, she became pregnant.  I hated that she was with him still, but I thought that her getting pregnant would hopefully be enough to stop him from hurting her anymore; I was wrong. 

Finally, it got to the point where it was so bad that I threatened to call the police for fear of not only my friend’s safety, but now the baby’s.  That was enough to scare her in to moving out.  She moved into a group home for abused women, where she stayed only for a short time, then moved back in with him.  I was outraged when she told me that she had left to go back to him.  Soon after she moved back in, the baby was born.  Once again, I tried to stay positive, but the abuse continued.  She ended up moving out, and back to the group home, a few months later with her daughter because things had gotten so bad again and she feared for the baby.  That is when she finally got smart and decided she needed to move on and didn’t have to deal with him anymore. 

Because of my friends experience, I have a lot of empathy for these women.  I have experienced, through my friend, how hard it can be to get out of an abusive relationship.  For someone who hasn’t been through it, it seems so obvious that you should just get away from the abuse and never go back to the person.  But really, its not that easy.  There is so much more behind it than just the abuse, and many people don’t realize that there are many reasons these women are forced to stay in the relationship to help them financially, or if they have children.  Some of the statistics mentioned in the video really shocked me, especially that every 18 seconds a woman is a victim of abuse, and 1 out of 4 women in the US experience domestic abuse.  It’s so crazy to think that that many women are being abused, because it’s not something you hear about in the news or media very often.  I think this is partially because women are not opening talking about it, and many are embarrassed that the abuse happened to them. 

I also found it very interesting how many people they interviewed that said they had been abused as a child by their parents or someone they knew, then when they grew up, they continued the violence because it was what they had learned.  It completely makes sense, but it’s really sad to think that it could possibly have been avoided if somehow we were able to stop the abuse.  I was glad to see how much work was being done as far as making the laws against abuse more strict, and feel like it is necessary to make a change because abuse rates are just getting worse. 

1 comment:

  1. You are a really good friend to try and support her through such a hard time. Not only was the relationship hard on her but also hard on you. So many people judge women when they stay in abusive relationships but don't understand because they have never been in that situation. To me it is disheartening that like your friend and the women in the movie so many go back to the abuser because they feel as if it is just easier. It is good to know that your friend was able to go somewhere where she could get help. There are so many places where battered women have no where to go. I am glad that your friend is safe now along with her daughter.

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