Dangers of the Objectification of Women

In our society, it has become seemingly normal for women to be objectified in everyday life and especially in the media.  The idea that woman are merely objects, and judged on their appearances has become so “normal” that it seems to be the main focus of men and women all over.  Because of this portrayal in ads, movies, etc, women are not treated as individuals with unique personalities and traits, but rather as objects to be looked at.  The idea of objectifying women is completely degrading, and only adds to the gaps in treatment based on gender.  In fact, objectification has become so bad that men are willing to pay to see women dance nude, or perform sexual acts through prostitution for money all over the world. 

Women’s sexuality is used, especially in many commercial and magazine ads, in order to make men buy certain products.  The worst part of this is that it actually works, and people fall into the trap everyday.  The sad truth is also that it is not only men who participate in the objectification, and women are just as much at fault as men.  Women who are willing to pose for the ads, or be paid to have themselves degraded, further adds to the discrimination because they are only feeding the fire.  Women also fall victim to the ads of makeup and other beauty products which use women as objects to trick women into the “ideals” in which society says they should follow to be beautiful. 

Not only is objectification degrading women and giving a false image, but it also can cause much psychological damage to women who are not able to live up to the high standards set forth.  Women already have so much pressure on them to be perfect and live up to the same standards of men in order to be treated as equals.  Throwing in having to live up to the high standards of looking like a super model does not help the situation, or a woman’s confidence.  Because of this, women feel afraid to show their true identities in relationships or when meeting new people.  Objectification makes women less independent, and lowers the standards and goals that women set for themselves. 

In order to change this, we need to have more media attention to the so called average women who are truly the majority, not the stick thin bombshell which is truly unrealistic.  The media is the most powerful tool in this case, and because it is the main reason objectification has become so out of control, I feel it is the main thing that needs to change in order to progress in the treatment of women.  Men need to stop treating women as objects and respect them, but women also need to stop falling into the traps.

Sex vs. Gender vs. Sexuality

Even though sex and gender identity are completely different things, there stills seems to be so much confusion with them.  I grew up very educated to diversity, and was always taught to be open and accepting to different races, classes, genders, etc.  I was introduced to the idea of gay and lesbian at a fairly young age, so have always had an open mind and been interested in learning more about different gender identities.  Last semester I took a trans and gender queer class, in which I learned in depth many different gender identities from all different cultures.  Because I have always been curious and interested in this subject, I feel that I know a fair amount about it and am constantly correcting people and answering questions.  Sometimes it is difficult, because I hear people say something completely incorrect, and often find myself correcting them. 

Back to my point, sex and gender are not the same.  Your sex is describing your biology; what you were born with as far as male or female genitalia and reproductive organs.  Your gender identity is what you chose to identify yourself as.  Gender is feeling masculine, or feminine, neither, or even a mix of both.  For many people, your sex and gender match up (male/masculine, female/feminine), and this is known as cisgender.  That means the way you feel and express yourself matches up with the biological sex you were born with.  Some people are born with Gender Identity Disorder, which means that their biological sex does not match up with the gender they identify with. 

Many people also get confused with sexuality.  Sexuality is a whole separate category on its own.  A person’s sexuality does not have to be determined by their sex or their gender.  Sexuality is who you are attracted to sexually.  That is where lesbian, gay, straight, and bisexual come from.  Many people get very confused, especially when it comes to transgender people and their partners.  If there is a person who was born biologically a man (sex), and feels and acts as a woman (gender identity), but is in a relationship with a man (sexuality), many would say that he is gay.  This however, may not be the case.  Because the individual feels and identifies as a woman, they would be considered heterosexual.  It can get very confusing, but once you understand the basics and realize that sex, gender and sexuality are not the same, you can better understand LGBTQ individuals and be able to and speak of them without sounding ignorant or offending them. 

Gender Discrimination in Schools

Riverview High School in Florida has been all over the news this week for ones boys abnormal dress code.  A male student at the school showed up to class wearing high heels last week, and was asked to leave by the principal.  The student’s teacher claimed the boy was distracting to the class, and sent him to the principal’s office.  The principal claimed to be worried about the boy’s safety and afraid he would be bullied, and sent him home.  It was determined that the boy was not breaking any rules of the school’s dress code.  I heard this story on the radio as I was driving home today, and it caught my attention. 

At first, the way the radio station was talking about it made it seem like the boy had gotten in trouble because he was wearing the heels in order to make fun of cross dressing or transgender individuals.  When I got home I looked it up and found out that was not the case.  The male student simply liked wearing heels and felt most comfortable in them.  As one of his friends, Hayley Stepp, stated in a news interview, “He likes the way they make him feel. They make him feel more confident, and he just likes to wear them.”  It didn’t make mention of whether or not the boy had ever worn heels or other feminine clothing before this instance.  I also don’t believe that the boy was indeed a distraction to the class at all, and feel that it was more likely the teacher was uncomfortable with the situation and wanted to do something to stop it.  It also seemed that the students they interviewed for the most part were not bothered by it at all.  Many of them backed him up, and it was said one boy even was going to wear a dress to school the next week to stand up for him. 

I feel bad for the boy, because if in fact he was just wearing the heels because he liked them, and was reprimanded for being himself, I think it was completely unnecessary for the principal to do that.  A more appropriate thing to do in this situation would have been for the principal or teacher to talk with the child and inform him of the possible dangers of bullying and ridicule from other students if he chose to dress this way, but also that they would help to make sure he was in a safe environment so that nothing would happen to him.  That way he would be aware that there may be discrimination from other students, but he still would have the option to do what he wanted to do without being told what he should do.  There was no reason for him to be taken out of school when he did nothing wrong in the situation.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/dailycaller/20110425/pl_dailycaller/teenageboycalledoutforwearinghighheelstoschool

Last Name Debate

There has always been a debate on last names, and who takes whose last name in marriage, as well as whose last name children should take.  Tradition in our society says that it should be the woman taking on the man’s name, and any children they have also take on that name.  There has also been the argument of hyphenating last names so that both the mother and father are included in the last name.  In my opinion, hyphenating, although seemingly more equal, just confuses the situation.  Lets say my last name is Smith, and my husband’s is Johnson; our children would then have the last name Smith-Johnson.  Then when our child gets married, if their husband/wife also has a hyphenated last name, it then leaves four choices.  Does it then become a four part last name?  Or do you simply pick the two favorites to move on to your children?  I understand in some circumstances, hyphenated last names may be the answer, but for the most part I don’t think that it is necessary and just makes for a sticky situation. 

But going back to the debate on whether or not a wife should take a husband’s last name.  I feel like it is completely up to the couple whether or not they change their last names, or simply both just keep their own.  I understand that the reasoning behind the woman taking the man’s last name is based upon past views of society and how the man is the head of household.  I also believe that it really is not as big of a deal if a woman decides to take her husbands name nowadays as some people make it out to be.  It does not mean that she feels less important than her husband or that he is the dominant one in the relationship, even though that is how some people make it seem.  To me, my last name is not something that important to me that I wouldn’t want to give it up.  And just because I do, it doesn’t change who I am or who my family is. 

When it comes to an unmarried couple that has a child, if they are staying together and raising the child together I believe either last name would be fine depending on what the parents prefer.  On the other hand, if they are not together and the child lives with one or the other permanently or majority of the time, I think that it makes the most sense to have them take that last name.  To me, one of the last things I am thinking about when getting ready to marry someone or have children is the last name that I or my children will take.  I realize this is not the case with everyone, but in my opinion there is way too much time and attention focused on this issue.  Everyone should be free to make their own decisions without worrying about criticism from family, friends, or society about what they should have done. 

Gender Identity Disorder

Gender Identity Disorder is becoming increasingly talked about over the last decade, and more research is being done to better understand the disorder.  Gender Identity Disorder is when a persons biological sex conflicts with the gender they chose to identify and live as.  Last semester I was in a trans and gender queer class, and I had the opportunity to see many videos and interviews on individuals with gender identity disorder, as well as meet a few in person. 

One video in particular that really stuck out in my mind was an interview done on a little girl named Jazz.  Jazz was born a boy, but at the age of 2 knew that she was meant to be a girl.  Jazz’s story was a happy one.  She knew at a very young age that she was born in the wrong body, so she grew up living as a girl.  In the video, it is said by experts that the younger a child is when transitioning, the easier it is for them.  Jazz only spent 2 years living as a boy, so her transition was much easier than some.  Since she wasn’t forced to deal with changing at a later age, it was easier to forget about her past living as a boy.  Her parents and family were also extremely understanding and always made her feel comfortable with her choice to be a girl.  They allowed her to wear dresses, grow out her hair, play with girl toys, and everything else little girls like to do. 

Since seeing the interview with Jazz, she has stuck in my mind.  I could not believe first off how mature and determined she was.  She wasn’t worried about what other people thought, and just wanted to do what she knew would make her happy.  I also loved how amazing her parents were with the whole situation.  Many parents of children with Gender Identity Disorder question them, and often try and change their minds to make them “normal.”  This was not the case with the parents of Jazz.  All they wanted was for Jazz to be happy, and they never pushed her to be something she wasn’t.  I respect her parents and give them so much credit for that. 

The first video I watched of Jazz, she was only 7 years old.  The interviewer asked her what it meant to be transgender.  She responded that she was born with a boy’s body and a girl’s brain.  I found it so fascinating listening to her speak, because she seemed so mature for her age.  I also couldn’t believe how positive she was.  For the most part it seemed as all of Jazz’s friends and family were very accepting of her choice and embraced it.  I definitely think that this had a huge impact on Jazz and making her transition much easier. 

Watching this made me wish that was the case for all individuals dealing with Gender Identity Disorder.  So many people are disowned by family and friends after announcing they would like to change their gender.  Also, many people don’t realize until later in life, or simply pretend to be something they are not.  As we begin to understand more about this disorder and continue educating others, the better it will be.  People need to understand that this is not a choice, and imagine what it would be like living as something you are not everyday of your life.

Here's the link to the video of Jazz that I was talking about.  This is only the first part of five, but if you are interested in watching them all they should pop up after each section ends.

Domestic Violence

Today’s video on domestic violence really hit home for me.  One of my really good friends spent 4 years in an abusive relationship.  I was the one she always came to for help and to talk to, and it was extremely hard for me to deal with.  They were high school sweethearts, and after we graduated they moved in together.  He had always been verbally abusive to her, but once they moved in together it escaladed into physical abuse as well.  After a year of living together, she became pregnant.  I hated that she was with him still, but I thought that her getting pregnant would hopefully be enough to stop him from hurting her anymore; I was wrong. 

Finally, it got to the point where it was so bad that I threatened to call the police for fear of not only my friend’s safety, but now the baby’s.  That was enough to scare her in to moving out.  She moved into a group home for abused women, where she stayed only for a short time, then moved back in with him.  I was outraged when she told me that she had left to go back to him.  Soon after she moved back in, the baby was born.  Once again, I tried to stay positive, but the abuse continued.  She ended up moving out, and back to the group home, a few months later with her daughter because things had gotten so bad again and she feared for the baby.  That is when she finally got smart and decided she needed to move on and didn’t have to deal with him anymore. 

Because of my friends experience, I have a lot of empathy for these women.  I have experienced, through my friend, how hard it can be to get out of an abusive relationship.  For someone who hasn’t been through it, it seems so obvious that you should just get away from the abuse and never go back to the person.  But really, its not that easy.  There is so much more behind it than just the abuse, and many people don’t realize that there are many reasons these women are forced to stay in the relationship to help them financially, or if they have children.  Some of the statistics mentioned in the video really shocked me, especially that every 18 seconds a woman is a victim of abuse, and 1 out of 4 women in the US experience domestic abuse.  It’s so crazy to think that that many women are being abused, because it’s not something you hear about in the news or media very often.  I think this is partially because women are not opening talking about it, and many are embarrassed that the abuse happened to them. 

I also found it very interesting how many people they interviewed that said they had been abused as a child by their parents or someone they knew, then when they grew up, they continued the violence because it was what they had learned.  It completely makes sense, but it’s really sad to think that it could possibly have been avoided if somehow we were able to stop the abuse.  I was glad to see how much work was being done as far as making the laws against abuse more strict, and feel like it is necessary to make a change because abuse rates are just getting worse. 

Tru Life: I'm Changing My Sex

A few years ago, MTV had a Tru Life special titled “I’m changing my sex.”  In this episode, there were two people featured.  Elle, who was 24 at the time of filming, was born with male genitalia.  Elle lived as heterosexual man most of her life, but always wanted to be woman.  She was very unhappy with her life, and became very depressed and even attempted suicide.  Once she had been living as a female for many years, she finally felt comfortable enough to make a permanent change.  Elle decided to undergo a complete gender transformation, and had sexual reassignment surgery.  After the surgery, she was much happier with herself and more comfortable with herself. 

The second person featured was Ted, who was 22 and living as a man.  Ted was born Ashley, a biological female.  He considers himself Female to Male Transgender.  Because he is biologically female, Ted has large breasts and wants surgery to reconstruct his chest to make himself appear more masculine.  He has opted out of having full reassignment surgery.  The only thing stopping him from changing his appearance is the fact that he does not have enough money to pay for the surgery.  Growing up felt like a boy, but his family raised him as a girl.  Because Ted’s appearance was that of a female, he decided to tell people he was a lesbian, since he thought it was easier to explain to people than being transgender.  After going to college, Ted met and joined a trans group in which he finally felt comfortable being who he was.  He currently has a wife, who says she didn’t care that Ted was trans, and she loved him for who he was even after finding out.  Ted had his surgery and is fully recovered living life happily with his wife. 

Both of these individuals they showed were great examples for educating those who really don’t know much about what it means to be transgender/transsexuals.  Both Elle and Ted are success stories, and there are many others that are not so lucky.  Many trans individuals cannot afford to have the expensive surgeries required for changing their sex, and many other complications that prevent them from the transition.  Although this is the case, I believe it was very brave of Ted and Elle for volunteering themselves to be shown on public television and not worrying about how people would react to it.  I first saw this episode a few years ago, but it was the first time I had seen a show dealing with both the positives and negatives of being transgender and all of the struggles that come along with the surgeries.  Because MTV is such a popular station and is well respected, this episode opened many doors for education and awareness of transgender in society. 

http://www.mtv.com/videos/true-life-im-changing-my-sex/1631489/playlist.jhtml