The Royal Wedding

I, along with much of the world I’m sure, found myself falling victim to watching the Royal Wedding of Prince William and his wife to be Catherine Middleton.  While it is fun to see and dream about having an extravagant wedding, the reality is most people cannot afford to get too extreme.  Watching the Royal Wedding it almost made me sick to my stomach to think of how much money truly went into it all.  From the extravagant dress and decorations, to the reception, the wedding was flawless and seemed to be straight out of a fairytale.  I'm sure the wedding was something that Catherine, who grew up in a middle class family, could have only dreamed of growing up.

Everyday, especially in the celebrity news and television shows, women see images of weddings with brides and grooms who seem to have no worries about how much money is spent.  With these shows and celebrity weddings as the basis of our generations wedding ideas and planning, it’s hard to not try and live up to expectations.  While it is neat being able to see the perfect wedding, it does not help that women feel they need to do the same.  Obviously the average person would never be able to pull of the Royal Wedding without being in debt the rest of their lives, and then some.  But the fact is women will still try to have the “mini” version of what they see portrayed.  It’s sad that a lot of women feel that it is necessary to have extravagant weddings because society gives them the ideas that it needs to be a big impressive show.

I have always wanted to have a simple wedding, and one that is as inexpensive as it can be.  I could never see myself spending even close to as much as what I see in the media.  I would much rather have a small, intimate wedding with close family and friends than something meant to impress my guests.  I don’t see the point of spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a wedding in order to achieve the perfect wedding, especially if the main reasoning behind it is impressing people.  I think it is kind of funny, and stupid of people who do try and live up to these expectations for the benefit of others, because even it that perfect wedding is achieved and all of your guests are in awe, someone else will come by right after and outdo you, leaving you in debt and no one remembering it anyways.  Even the Royal Wedding of William and Catherine is compared to his parents, Charles and Diana's.

Gender Role Variation with Class

It is interesting to me how different gender roles differ with class.  Social status and money situations have a great impact on the jobs, as well as household and family roles.  In many working class marriages, it is most common for the woman and man to have full time jobs.  Most working class families do not have the leisure of a one-income lifestyle, and because of this their home life varies.  Depending on how demanding each individual’s job is may determine whether or not the man or woman does most of the household work.  In my experience, it still seems that the majority of Working class women also do most of the domestic work and family care on top of their jobs.

Middle class is slightly different.  Usually, one person has a fulltime job while the other most often has a part time job.  Mainly it is the man who had a fulltime job, and the woman who would have a part time job then handle the household work and childcare, etc.  The middle class lifestyle is easier on the family, because they are not having to focus on both parents having fulltime jobs while dealing with all of the housework and taking care of  the family.

Upper class may only have one individual working, most often the man.  In many upper class families, the wife is a stay at home mom/wife and takes care of the house mainly.  In some cases, if the family is wealthy enough, they may even have a maid or nanny to help the woman with the work.

The situations I just described are extremely stereotypical, but for the most part realistic to how families were run, at least in the past years.  In today’s society, things have shifted slightly in some aspects.  While still uncommon in the majority of situations, it is becoming increasingly more popular for the gender roles to be reversed.  Nowadays, many more men are becoming stay at home dads, as well as marrying women who earn a larger income than them.  With time, the gender role situation is becoming blurred slightly, but the differences in gender roles within different classes are still apparent.

Mid-State Sisters of Skate

The Mid-State Sisters of Skate started in the summer of 2010 in Stevens Point, WI.  As of now there are 30+ members.  I heard about them through a family friend who is currently a member in the league.  After briefly talking with her about it, I was immediately interested and wanted to learn more. 

They are a non-profit amateur sports league, but they follow all of the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association guidelines and regulations.  The league was originally started for fun, but they decided it could be more than that.  As Lisa Pett, one of the members of Sisters of Skate stated, “Our biggest goal--besides having a lot of fun, is to really foster the sport. To have people take it seriously and us seriously as athletes. We believe that roller derby is good for the community and can benefit it in many ways, especially by supporting the women of the community.”

As written in their mission statement, Mid-State Sisters of Skate “strives to run a safe, fun, professional league that gives women of all ages, shapes, sizes, and skill levels a chance to enjoy the sport of roller derby.”  They also “endeavor to empower women by challenging members’ personal growth both on and off the track.”  They also strive to not only gain support through their members but also members around the Central Wisconsin community.  They help out many local charities and organizations by fundraising and volunteering their time.

Each of the members has a nickname, and expresses their unique styles in the clothes they wear.  I think everything the Mid-State Sisters of Skate stands for is amazing.  The best part is their goal to empower and celebrate women of all types.  This organization gives women a place to express themselves in a safe and nonjudgmental environment while having fun.  I love that they chose to do Roller Derby, because it also shows that women can be tough.  I have included a picture of some of these women as well as their website.  I hope that you will check it out, see what all it has to offer, and spread the word to your friends!

http://midstatesos.com/skate/

Rape

1 out of every 3 American women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.  This is just one of many statistics that show us the scary reality of sexual assault.  Many people don’t even think about it, but the fact is it’s happening all around us.  There is a big debate on rape and what exactly it entails, especially when it comes to whether or not the sex was consensual.  In order for sex to be considered consensual, both parties must say YES and agree with the act. 

One of the times there is great controversy is when alcohol is involved in cases of sexual assault.  When someone is drinking, they are not in complete control of their bodies, and that is what leads to trouble and confusion.  Alcohol may make someone act a certain way, and they may not want to have sex, but it may be assumed by the other person because of their behavior.  This is why it is so important to make sure you get verbal consent before actually having sex.  The fact that they don’t say no isn’t enough, and in order to have consent both people must say yes and agree to have sex.  That is the biggest argument when it comes to someone who is accused of rape; they didn’t say no. 

Also, because of alcohol, many rape victims are unsure of what happens and are afraid to report it.

The scariest part about rape to me is that the majority of victims are raped by someone they know.  As we talked about in class, many people assume that all rapists are big, scary, men who come out of the bushes and attack at night.  This is not even close to the truth.  In fact, a huge number of rapes occur within relationships, and many are not reported.  Just because you are in a relationship with someone and you have had a sexual relationship, doesn’t give you permission to expect sex whenever you please.  Being in a relationship does not excuse the consent rule.

The last thing I want to bring up about rape is that although the vast majority of rapists are men, that doesn’t mean women are not capable of raping as well.  It is not as common, but it is not something that should be looked past.  I also feel that many men are afraid to admit that they were raped, so there are probably way more cases than we know about that just haven’t been documented.  We need to break the stereotypes of rape as a society, and encourage victims to come forward so that we can stop the vicious cycle.

Dangers of the Objectification of Women

In our society, it has become seemingly normal for women to be objectified in everyday life and especially in the media.  The idea that woman are merely objects, and judged on their appearances has become so “normal” that it seems to be the main focus of men and women all over.  Because of this portrayal in ads, movies, etc, women are not treated as individuals with unique personalities and traits, but rather as objects to be looked at.  The idea of objectifying women is completely degrading, and only adds to the gaps in treatment based on gender.  In fact, objectification has become so bad that men are willing to pay to see women dance nude, or perform sexual acts through prostitution for money all over the world. 

Women’s sexuality is used, especially in many commercial and magazine ads, in order to make men buy certain products.  The worst part of this is that it actually works, and people fall into the trap everyday.  The sad truth is also that it is not only men who participate in the objectification, and women are just as much at fault as men.  Women who are willing to pose for the ads, or be paid to have themselves degraded, further adds to the discrimination because they are only feeding the fire.  Women also fall victim to the ads of makeup and other beauty products which use women as objects to trick women into the “ideals” in which society says they should follow to be beautiful. 

Not only is objectification degrading women and giving a false image, but it also can cause much psychological damage to women who are not able to live up to the high standards set forth.  Women already have so much pressure on them to be perfect and live up to the same standards of men in order to be treated as equals.  Throwing in having to live up to the high standards of looking like a super model does not help the situation, or a woman’s confidence.  Because of this, women feel afraid to show their true identities in relationships or when meeting new people.  Objectification makes women less independent, and lowers the standards and goals that women set for themselves. 

In order to change this, we need to have more media attention to the so called average women who are truly the majority, not the stick thin bombshell which is truly unrealistic.  The media is the most powerful tool in this case, and because it is the main reason objectification has become so out of control, I feel it is the main thing that needs to change in order to progress in the treatment of women.  Men need to stop treating women as objects and respect them, but women also need to stop falling into the traps.

Sex vs. Gender vs. Sexuality

Even though sex and gender identity are completely different things, there stills seems to be so much confusion with them.  I grew up very educated to diversity, and was always taught to be open and accepting to different races, classes, genders, etc.  I was introduced to the idea of gay and lesbian at a fairly young age, so have always had an open mind and been interested in learning more about different gender identities.  Last semester I took a trans and gender queer class, in which I learned in depth many different gender identities from all different cultures.  Because I have always been curious and interested in this subject, I feel that I know a fair amount about it and am constantly correcting people and answering questions.  Sometimes it is difficult, because I hear people say something completely incorrect, and often find myself correcting them. 

Back to my point, sex and gender are not the same.  Your sex is describing your biology; what you were born with as far as male or female genitalia and reproductive organs.  Your gender identity is what you chose to identify yourself as.  Gender is feeling masculine, or feminine, neither, or even a mix of both.  For many people, your sex and gender match up (male/masculine, female/feminine), and this is known as cisgender.  That means the way you feel and express yourself matches up with the biological sex you were born with.  Some people are born with Gender Identity Disorder, which means that their biological sex does not match up with the gender they identify with. 

Many people also get confused with sexuality.  Sexuality is a whole separate category on its own.  A person’s sexuality does not have to be determined by their sex or their gender.  Sexuality is who you are attracted to sexually.  That is where lesbian, gay, straight, and bisexual come from.  Many people get very confused, especially when it comes to transgender people and their partners.  If there is a person who was born biologically a man (sex), and feels and acts as a woman (gender identity), but is in a relationship with a man (sexuality), many would say that he is gay.  This however, may not be the case.  Because the individual feels and identifies as a woman, they would be considered heterosexual.  It can get very confusing, but once you understand the basics and realize that sex, gender and sexuality are not the same, you can better understand LGBTQ individuals and be able to and speak of them without sounding ignorant or offending them. 

Gender Discrimination in Schools

Riverview High School in Florida has been all over the news this week for ones boys abnormal dress code.  A male student at the school showed up to class wearing high heels last week, and was asked to leave by the principal.  The student’s teacher claimed the boy was distracting to the class, and sent him to the principal’s office.  The principal claimed to be worried about the boy’s safety and afraid he would be bullied, and sent him home.  It was determined that the boy was not breaking any rules of the school’s dress code.  I heard this story on the radio as I was driving home today, and it caught my attention. 

At first, the way the radio station was talking about it made it seem like the boy had gotten in trouble because he was wearing the heels in order to make fun of cross dressing or transgender individuals.  When I got home I looked it up and found out that was not the case.  The male student simply liked wearing heels and felt most comfortable in them.  As one of his friends, Hayley Stepp, stated in a news interview, “He likes the way they make him feel. They make him feel more confident, and he just likes to wear them.”  It didn’t make mention of whether or not the boy had ever worn heels or other feminine clothing before this instance.  I also don’t believe that the boy was indeed a distraction to the class at all, and feel that it was more likely the teacher was uncomfortable with the situation and wanted to do something to stop it.  It also seemed that the students they interviewed for the most part were not bothered by it at all.  Many of them backed him up, and it was said one boy even was going to wear a dress to school the next week to stand up for him. 

I feel bad for the boy, because if in fact he was just wearing the heels because he liked them, and was reprimanded for being himself, I think it was completely unnecessary for the principal to do that.  A more appropriate thing to do in this situation would have been for the principal or teacher to talk with the child and inform him of the possible dangers of bullying and ridicule from other students if he chose to dress this way, but also that they would help to make sure he was in a safe environment so that nothing would happen to him.  That way he would be aware that there may be discrimination from other students, but he still would have the option to do what he wanted to do without being told what he should do.  There was no reason for him to be taken out of school when he did nothing wrong in the situation.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/dailycaller/20110425/pl_dailycaller/teenageboycalledoutforwearinghighheelstoschool